On every new chapter of my life; somehow I had to face with remarks and questions.
Once, twice answered is enough. More than that; it has become addictive to those curious homosopiens.

Stereotypes; ouh how i hate that it exists in us.
As I ponder; isint it better that I get a smack to the face than rather a stab on the back?
Or I rather pretend not to hear about it than being humiliate while looking into the other eye...



If there's a statistic collected through the 18 years; facts should point out that I am used to it and brushing it off my shoulders is just a daily routine. But no, facts stated that things that cant be change-not intentional, should not be condemned or judge instantly.




It has become such a paranoia to me;
Talking is hard. Walking is hard. Turning the head is hard. Lifting the hand is hard. Smilling is hard. Writing is hard. Jumping is hard. Laughing is hard. Eating is hard. Blinking an eye is hard. Sitting down is hard. Standing is hard.
Hard; hard to inch a muscle when every of it will be judge.



And humans say, im this and that. There's a reason for eveything.




Feels so void right now. I feels soo envy towards people. No, jealousy is the right word.
Why am i? Why aren't they?



Again I linger the moments of security, trust and understanding.
The current situation is: void.
Bitterness aroused when looking at the close ones; changing for the better in any form. While i'm stuck...
Pressure and temptations have been boiling up...and i'm afraid im going to give in.