Irony

Ever felt that sometimes a responsibility given to you is such a pressure?

Especially the bigger ones.

Although you are honored that you are entrusted to do so because of your good abilities and better character... you just felt that,

"i am best being 'normal'.....just like everyone else."

Given the big responsibilty back in secondary school days was a bitter-sweet.

The thought that i am an instrumental to the cca's standard, expectations, welfare...pressure's me all the way.

But the harder part of being a leader is;

convincing your friends...close friends, which is in the same team, to stay with you for support.

P'..if you're reading this, i remembered during the pre-syf performance at some school where we all had to wear school shoes but the 'clique' didnt? I dont know if you notice it but I could not take it anymore and for the first time i was extremly mad with you all and on the verge of shouting on the spot. But, i decided to isolate myslef to take a breather.

Had to admit, my biggest flaw is; Empathy.

But I think I am good at not letting people know what im going through on the moment.

Blessed?

"He has never faltered under the weight of tremendous pressure....has always maintained his composure"

-taken from, school-leaving-testimonial.

Uhuh....to the extent of the day of the SYF results, when everybody was crying and where i had to force my muscle to inch a smile and gave a positive note.

Then this freeking teacher went up to me and asked...

"eh, you not sad uh?? can smile...?"

I was taken aback. And soon..it came pouring out.

Well, I believe that one of things of being a leader is to uphold the team spirit no matter what.

Well you know what...now, i can laugh my heart out thinking about all those stuffs...i think.

But being a just mere member for me is absolutely just great. No more freeking remarks about you behind people's back...or no more 'behind-the-scene-scolding-session' with the 'higher-authorities'... and no more "knn-idiot-cb-i-feel-that-my-effort-is-not-appreciated" moments eheh....and such....bitchy.

And i am defintely not looking forward to this new reponsibility especially that you have something else planned.

On the other hand, i do realise that this mentality has to go because it wont get me far in the working life......wait, FUTURE working life please.

besides than that..i hope that the application will be rejected.

i miss my love ones