Things have been going on with my life lately, and i cant help it but to read my older post...

Indeed it's a new chapter. Indeed it's not the same again.

For the past around 7 months, i have witnessed people achieving things...happy and elated with their new environments. And i thought to myslef, i should be too right?

But,

When I lean my shoulders to the right for comfort, all i hear are the suppressed anger and dissapointment.

When i tilt my head to the left for guidance, all i see are lingers and frighten

When i arrowed my eyes to the front...im farseeing; blur.confusion.uncertainty.

So, keeping the facade, is to order my legs to turn 180 degrees and stay in that position.

Contradicting.

Things in the past, haunt me, disguising as shadows. They will appear when everything falls into place. But one thing's for sure, they will never go away.

Moving forward is hard....extremly hard.....

Especially when you think you have been doing great all these while...coping. And finally something hit you in the head, and you realise it that....you are not.

You are trying your best to be in control, to start afresh.

But there's always things which belittle your hope and makes you feel like you are swimming against the current...waiting to be drown.

But.......

Is it an excuse isint it?

I'm living in the past again while this little man in my head is grinning all the way as i deprived myslef from the glow of the strend of hope that is still somewhere inside of me.

And i will surely find it...bit by bit.

It's useless to look at the past. Yes, past is vital to where we are now.

Even if it's bitter, you just have to contemplate for a moment and move forward and make use the best of the outcome.

Someone said,

I hope this time it really drills into my head, because i dont want to see another of my precious year being wasted while people are progressing.